just showing up for life. every day.
Y’all. It ain’t like TV, except the parts that are. 😉
Day 1: We cleaned out anything & everything past tenants could’ve left behind… EV-ER-Y-THING.
…and enough other stuff to fill a roll-off dumpster. 😷
Kevin: “Hey baybay, today was fun.”
DAY 2
(Disclaimer: Brogan was in a separate room from where we were working and playing happily until my sister came to get him.)
Kitchen demo today!
Kitchen demo!
Today was fun too, Kevin. 😘
You know those times in your life when there’s so much going on around you that you’re wondering if you’re really getting it all? The past few months have felt that way. We are in a season of crazy amounts of transition and it’s all so exciting–I just don’t want to miss it. So I’ll write it down. And like 5 people will read it. Ha. (Thanks mom.)
So first of all, we have a one year old. He’s walking, babbling up a storm, teething, opinionated about food & sleep, sweet to the core & a trooper. He has no choice but to be flexible in this family. Lord willing, someday we’ll get another just like him. 😏 After salvation and marriage, he is our greatest blessing (and if he’s listening at all, he knows it)!
Then there’s this tiny detail in life called moving. And it has occupied every hour, bit of energy, dollar and thought we have had in the past 6 months. There was getting our first house ready to go on the market starting way back in May. Then selling in late September. Then going under contract in early October, then deciding against that house, and then yesterday purchasing our dream home. It probably doesn’t look like a dream home to most. You have to squint & channel your inner HGTV nerd & you’ll see it. We are super excited about this fixer upper and will be keeping things up to date here.
How much work does it need? A lot–mostly elbow grease, paint, new kitchen & bathrooms. No big deal. But where does one live when renovating a whole house at once after one’s house has already sold? In the in between we’ve been very fortunate to stay with my Aunt Dee & Uncle Peter. They have been generous hosts even when our lives are bursting at the seams threatening to overflow into the whole house. But after the in between, where do you go? Answer: daily double [wide].
Ok, it’s not a double-wide but it’s definitely a mobile home of sorts. So we’re doing the crazy “live-out-back-while-you-renovate” thing. (Thanks for the inspiration, Jen Hatmaker.)
Y’all. Things are about to get wild. Please just pray for no asbestos. Kthnxsomuchbye.
I’m interested. I want to know if everyone else feels like I do and they’re just faking it (yes you–are YOU faking it?) or am I the only one?
Just a preface for all you Type-A personalities out there, I like to get things done. I do NOT lay in my bed for endless hours, watch TV or sip tea and eat bon bons all day. Even with the desire to achieve in me, I have to wonder if we’re ALL headed in the wrong direction with the “do more, succeed more” lifestyle standard we set for ourselves (and consequently others). I have to-do lists. I need to do laundry. Regularly. I need to build bookcases. I need to get to work on time. I need to cook for myself. I need to sleep a decent amount so I am worth something the following day. I need to eat. I need to answer texts, emails, Facebook messages, Snapchats, etc. I need to bathe. I need to interact with people. I need to pay bills. I need to organize my room. I need to clean out another one. I need to create more closet space in my typically 80’s style home. (Apparently there was no such thing as a coat or games in the 80’s because they SHOOOO didn’t build closets to stow said coats and games.) I need to read. I need to check in with friends. I need to stain my deck. I need to save money to put siding on my house so it doesn’t look like a haunted mansion year round. I need to volunteer at church. I need to love people better by hosting them in my home. I need to clean [again].
I neeeeeeeeeeeeed Jesus. Without His life and breath in me I cannot do any of these things. And he graciously gives it to me day after day, non-stop. But the thing I’ve been noticing lately is that NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP ME from doing all of those things. If anything, people are going to give me a glare the moment I slip or can’t keep up. I’ve heard that Georgia Power doesn’t like it when you don’t pay your bill on time, although I’ve never personally experienced paying a bill late (pfffft). I’m frankly kind of tired of the people around me enforcing the “work harder” lifestyle with no grace for fragility or a season of life that doesn’t allow for all-the-endless-nights-of-doing-stuff-because-you-think-you-should. (That word is starting another post in my mind.)
I also know that there are MANY things in my life that need to occur in the silence and quiet. I need mental space to plan, not think AND think. I need physical space to rest my body & admit that I am human and can’t run on 3 hours of sleep a night (for a great article on God-glorifying sleep, read this). I need spiritual space to remember, declare and believe truth in the face of many lies AND to just be with Jesus. I think the most difficult thing about defending soul care is that we may be perceived as selfish or under-productive. Do you know who knows if you meet God’s standards of productivity? God. Do you know who judges what is good use of your time at the end of the day? God. Caring for my heart (described in the Bible as mind, will and emotions) is one of the single-most important tasks of my life. Out of it overflows life when I am eating life. Out of it overflows burnt potpourri when I am eating things that look like life but are really killing me inside.
So, my encouragement to you in our “try-harder” world is to look around and ask yourself–not if you’re doing enough but if you’re doing the things that remind you that you are not enough. Only then will you not feel like a burnt-out soccer mom. Or a workaholic dad. Or a piece of Play-Doh stretched so thin that the next time you go through a spaghetti press, you might just end up being Capellini. Maybe say no for long enough that you can examine the question. That’s a start…
P.S. If you’re scoffing at this article and thinking that I’m a single (another post) idealist with too much time on my hands, please, PLEASE take the time to read the Gospels and discover what Jesus did on the urgent days in his ministry. People died. They were left without an answer. Mary was rewarded with Jesus’ presence and Martha went on wondering why Jesus would not “be in” the things that she was side-tracked doing. Surely if Jesus can trust God’s sovereignty for the people’s lives who He left “hanging in the balance”, we can too.
UPDATE: I just got a new job working for an elderly man. His wife has Alzheimer’s (she’s been diagnosed for 6 years but is in remarkable condition) and I am taking care of her on a daily basis.
Yesterday was a hard day. From the moment I walked in the door, O’Greta was obstinate and in a “no” mood.
Drink your water. No.
Let’s do your leg exercises. No.
I’m going to massage your arms and legs. No.
Let’s go for a ride in my car. No.
I started losing patience at about 11:30–after about an hour and a half of the no game–and didn’t know what to do. I sat and waited a lot. I asked the same questions hoping for different answers a lot, which often works. I got frustrated. Then, ah ha! I got creative! I was energetic! I was patient! All of the sudden I expected everything to be better…
Nothing changed.
Now I’m getting desperate. I need food, she needs action, we need to be able to leave the house so I don’t go stir crazy… There are a lot of variables in play that, given enough time, could all explode and leave us with a big mess.
I’m so desperate I text Molly and ask her to pray. I text Victor and ask him to pray. I need those prayers to work.
25 more minutes of “no.” Still nothing.
Then I pray. (What? Why didn’t I think of that way back there at desperate?! Simply, “Lord, please, if she doesn’t get in the car soon, I’m going to lose it.” O’Greta comes prancing out of her back bedroom with her coat on ready to go.
Miracle.
Then we get out and fear takes over. Do I let her out of the car? What if this all happens again in 20 minutes? I really will lose it. But alas, I need to do what’s best for her and walking helps her cool down and get into a good mood again.
We walked around the mall for almost an hour and she was happy as a lark. Prayers answered, feeling high, feeling grateful, infused with new patience, creativity and energy.
Time to go! My car won’t start.
Another prayer. “Lord, please help my car to start.” (It was raining, cold and she’s hungry and so is her husband back at home. Now is not even a good time to get a jump, I just needed it to start.) Car starts.
Miracle.
Head to Panera to grab lunch quickly and get home.
Walk through the rain and cold wind into Panera only to see a sweet friend’s face who brightens my day. She doesn’t frequent Panera to read but today she had decided to for the first time.
Miracle.
The day got exponentially better. All day. But I could not shake the lesson learned. The gentle teaching of my Father.
He has made me creative, patient and energetic. I think he has specifically gifted me with what I need to work in this type of situation. I love it. But my creativity, my patience, and my energy is not enough. Yesterday I looked back and saw how several times he drove me back to dependence on him and away from the me that I rely on.
He is gracious to teach me slowly and in real ways.
Colossians 1:29 – For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.
Hey y’all / yous!
I am here. And I am stuck in! 🙂 That’s Irish for: “we’re going full-tilt.” The first two weeks of being with the American students and the first week with the Irish students/staff have been great! YOU CAN PRAY that we’ll continue in unity and love.
The Americans have really accepted the challenge of entering Irish culture and have done a really fantastic job of engaging with people in the streets the first few days (as they learned about Irish culture and life) and now at Encounter with the Irish interns. They’ve got integration down pat! YOU CAN PRAY that where my cultural lack runs down, I’ll trust God with grace to interact positively and not offensively with the Irish.
It has also been encouraging for me to get to see old friends again and reconnect with Irish staff and interns that I know, as well as getting to know new ones. It is a beautiful thing to be able to go halfway around the world and still find a home among other believers! YOU CAN PRAY that I would be an encouragement to the girls my age that may only have a few other close God-loving friends.
As I said, we are wrapping up our first week of Encounter and we’ve all been exposed to teaching from Galatians regarding our true SONSHIP in Christ. Such topics as: orphans vs. sons mentality, God’s confident sons, repentance, law and gospel, the Pharisee and prostitute, maturing as a son, etc. have been covered in a pretty fast paced format! The SONSHIP course is like drinking from a fire hydrant and requires long breaths in between gulps! YOU CAN PRAY that students would have/use adequate time to reflect and listen to what God may be speaking to their hearts through the word preached.
That said, tomorrow evening we’ll be having a barbecue with many of the student’s parents, friends and potential future interns in order for them to see what Encounter is all about. YOU CAN PRAY that we are well rested and ready to share openly about the transforming truth we are taking on board. YOU CAN PRAY that logistically everything runs smoothly and there is enough food for everyone to eat! 🙂 (There will be about 100 people around the Y for the BBQ.)
YOU CAN PRAY for Ireland… This time more than any other time I’ve been here I’ve sensed a hopelessness that is weighty. Many Irish can’t find employment, there is an oppression that is learned because of the oppression so recent in Irish history, and there is just a sense of “running out” of all the things that were giving the Irish hope. More than 1100 Irish per week are leaving the country in search of better economic circumstances–the Celtic Tiger of the 80s/90s/00s is a thing of the past. Really, the prayer is that they would run out & that they would trust God in their lack.
In the same way would you pray for me? This week especially has revealed that in many ways I would much rather depend on other people than trust God. I would rather be in control than allow God to reign. I would rather ignore hurt and pain rather than allow God to heal me and find my identity in him. These things are all huge an affect the way I functionally trust God. This is a battle we’re fighting here… Satan certainly doesn’t want me to be assured in God’s love and plans because then he has lost. So would you pray that my heart would be strengthened and that I would continue to dig down to the dark places of my heart that keep me from living in the freedom I so desire?
Thanks for your love and support!
BREAKING FREE,
E
here. 